do we acknowledge the fullness of each other's lives?

final newsletter of the year!

it is interesting how a year that pushed us all into isolation and introspection also taught me the most i have ever learned about interconnection. 

The Mystical World (Leading you on travels in a mysterious and visionary world). From Taiwan. source: tumblr

i am currently staying opposite an apartment building in new york, where its walls are windows and it is easy to peek in and see entire lives unfolding right before your eyes. of course, i don’t watch for more than seconds because it feels like i am invading their intimacies, and when i zoom out it becomes apparent that each of these people, parent, child, sibling, lover, have full, difficult and abundant lives, just like you and me.

on tik tok/twitter there’s a meme that uses the phrase “i’m the main character”, which basically refers to going through an experience that makes you feel like the main character in the enthralling story that is your life. in this moment, everybody around you is a side character that enriches your narrative. i remember when i was younger i would often convince myself that i was the “main character”, that people who perceived me, talked to me, cared for me were all part of my unfolding story, all feeding into the Sun, the central figure; that was me. this came from a place of insecurity, of growing up lonely in my family, and therefore trying to assert my own self-importance by forming a binary in my life; me and not me. me, being the most important.

moving away from the meme because i know it’s just a joke…when you think of yourself as the central figure of the Universe, you propel yourself into a perpetual and dizzying competition with those around you. this competition forces us to think that “there can only be one”, causing us to feel threatened by those who feel empowered, strong, and like they might threaten your status as “main character”, even in your own story. this competition, fueled by capitalism, feeds your ego with thoughts that lack nutrients, thoughts that never truly nourish or feed you till you feel full. when you put so much weight on the ego-driven self, you flatten those around you, neglecting the fullness and richness of their breathing and their existence. people around you do not exist to serve you or make you happy. instead, in our togetherness, we engage in conversation, interaction and intimacy, creating natural chemistry of joy and abundance.

the thing is though, that there is truth and joy in the “main character” meme. i am in ways, the main character, as in, i see from my own eyes and walk through the world with my own body, experiences, privileges and emotions... and so is everybody else. when we are being fed to think from a mindset of scarcity, and we are convinced that there can only be “one”, we forget that there is the Universe has room for abundance, for a world full of people who realise how sacred, important and incredible their existence is.

can there not be a billion Suns? and isn’t the Sun just a star after all?

Japanese star map. Tenmon Bun’ya no zu he  (1677) source: tumblr

i have also learned this of non-human life too, and have zoomed even further out to think about the ways we have created a binary between human and non-human. this again creates a flattening and imbalanced relationship, where “non-human” can be translated to object, to a lifelessness, to usable, to mere resource for mankind. Robin Wall Kimmerer, an Indigenous writer from the Potawatomi tribe, spoke of a phenonenom called “species loneliness”, where human beings have isolated themselves from every other lifeform on the planet, in an attempt to be known as superior..or the main character of the Universe. it is interesting how during this virus, in the midst of isolation and loneliness, i have realised that humans have been isolating themselves for a very long time from the rest of the natural world.

“Philosophers call this state of isolation and disconnection “species loneliness”—a deep, unnamed sadness stemming from estrangement from the rest of Creation, from the loss of relationship. As our human dominance of the world has grown, we have become more isolated, more lonely when we can no longer call out to our neighbors. It’s no wonder that naming was the first job the Creator gave Nanabozho.” — Robin Wall Kimmerer, Braiding Sweetgrass (my favourite book i read this year!)

covid-19 is a virus that is literally transmitted by breath and closeness, and so physical intimacy has become a rarity, a privilege and challenge for all of us this year. our interconnectedness has revealed itself by the ways we must take care of each other, despite being separated by ceilings and walls. this year has affected us all deeply in so many ways, and when i was dancing at virtual papi juice the other night, i saw all of us in our rooms, sweaty, sexy and wishing we could be together in physical space. although we may not have had huge collective spaces to discuss and process our feelings out in the open, i do feel like we felt comfort knowing that we are all discovering new unfolding parts of our stories that are interlinked with each other; be it the trees shedding their leaves in the winter, a stranger from across the road, or all the beautiful living beings we miss being close to.

it is in our isolation that i actually became closer to those i love and miss, closer to the Earth and closer to myself, understanding that all of these beautiful elements, full of life, are intrinsically interconnected and will continue to be as we take care of each other in isolation. as the year ends, i am grateful that these interconnections have not been fragmented but in fact strengthened, and that even as we enter an elusive and mysterious new year and embody a heightened sense of renewal, that we are centered in gratitude for the fullness of all of our lives and the ways that it connects us all. 

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i leave you with an offering i wrote while reflecting on the new year, and how we will carry all these difficult and illuminating lessons with us into the next solar rotation, deeper into the flux, prepared with deep gratitude, wisdom and renewal. happy new year! i love you!

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writing prompts:

1. WHAT IS ONE WAY YOU ARE CONNECTED TO THE EARTH? HOW DOES THAT CONNECTION UNFURL INTO A SERIES OF INTERCONNECTIONS?

2. WHAT WAS YOUR GREATEST LESSON ABOUT INTERCONNECTEDNESS THIS YEAR?

3. WHAT LESSONS WILL YOU CARRY FROM TODAY INTO TOMORROW THAT CONNECTS YOU STRONGER TO THE UNIVERSE AROUND YOU, THAT LOVES YOU AND CONSPIRES FOR YOUR JOY?

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playlist:

i offer you a playlist i made featuring songs from this year that provided a sense of tenderness and sentimentality. it explores a range of genres that are all interconnected in ways, just like us.